Amore

Quando ci siamo sposati prima mio marito non poteva afferrare l'idea dei suoceri e sempre chiamato mia madre sua madre in amore che era assolutamente affascinante e io non potevo portare me stesso per correggere lo. L'idea che la sua associazione con lei era solo a causa di alcuni consanguinei connessione o un regolamento sarebbe avere sembrava estraneo a lui. Si sentiva molto sicuro e ha avuto un senso di appartenenza a qualcosa dove tutti i componenti sono stati tenuti insieme da un legame che è andato di là di cultura e di statuto.

Se si pensa a Tam, quando si arriva al punto in cui un paio sceglie il diritto a essere coinvolti, poi l'amore potrebbe benissimo essere alla ricerca della finestra più vicina rendere la sua fuga. Il minuto un ragazzo e si è di solito il ragazzo, propone quindi le coppie sono dirigendosi verso un'istituzione che si è imposto su di noi da parte dello stato e non dovrebbe mai essere stipulata con leggerezza. Se si lancia nel fatto che quasi cinquanta per cento della fine di matrimoni in divorzio che ti fa chiedo perché persone correre in primo luogo in esso.

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Marriage

When we were married at first my husband could not grasp the idea of in-laws and would insist on calling my family his in-loves which was utterly charming. When he spoke about my mother he called her his mother-in-love. The idea that he was only associated with them by law was abhorrent to him. To him they were components of what we had together and one would not work properly without the other. My consanguineous connections afforded him security and a greater sense of belonging in a country that was different in both culture and regulation.

In fact, I really think that it is when the law comes into the equation that love flies out of the window. The minute a proposal is offered couples are heading towards an institution that is imposed upon us by the state and it should never be entered into lightly. Throw in that nearly fifty per cent of marriages end in divorce it makes me wonder why people rush into it so happily. Maybe it should be the other way round and you should have to go to court in order to get married in the first place.

Imagine if we had to prove, in a court of law, that we loved someone and will do so ‘till death’ plays its part. Tam, what would you do if asked to show love as evidence in court? Would a judge accept a dog wagging its tail or would he say that the dog is simply performing a task in order to be fed and that conditioning had been used in order to win the case? We are programmed by culture and convention to aspire to what is expected of us so, on what precedent could the verdict be based on?

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Regret

Well, if you think of the exact definition of the word then my life has been a big, bloody regret. All I have felt for the past twenty years is a sense of loss, sorrow, anguish, grief and sadness due to episodes out with my control. No one can help you when your heart aches. That’s something you have to deal with all on your own. Even the doctors, not matter how gifted and caring they are, can’t do anything about a broken heart.

Maybe someday they will come up with something like a pill or an antidote. They could call it something like ‘Swallow while you Wallow’ or ‘Consume when you’re Gloom’. You never know there might come a day when they can go right inside you and fix this oh so vital organ. The surgeons could then call themselves heart menders and make lots of money from lonely, lost and vulnerable people. The NHS could make a few bob from that. You should put that forward at your next meeting Tam.



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Childhood

It was bad enough being the only Catholics in the street where we lived but the four of us were also in the undesirable position of being ‘blessed’ with bright, red hair. We were like freaks of nature living in the Scottish enclave of an Orange Institution. Nuneaton Street in Bridgeton was a hotbed of Protestantism but we were in hiding from my dad and we knew that he would be guarded about entering hostile territory. So as not to raise suspicion my sister and I decided to call our brothers Billie and Willie. How smart was that?

It was like the march of the Red Brigade when we were out together. There was safety in numbers so we never left the house alone. The four of us, two brothers and two sisters, were a force to be damned with. Although my mother told us how special we were there was no denying that we had a fight on our hands. She said we were ‘blest by angels’ but that didn’t cut it when faced with a gang of the East End opposition party. The Gaza strip had nothing on the green line we had to embark on every morning to get to school.

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