Friday 4 March 2011

Marriage

When we were married at first my husband could not grasp the idea of in-laws and would insist on calling my family his in-loves which was utterly charming. When he spoke about my mother he called her his mother-in-love. The idea that he was only associated with them by law was abhorrent to him. To him they were components of what we had together and one would not work properly without the other. My consanguineous connections afforded him security and a greater sense of belonging in a country that was different in both culture and regulation.

In fact, I really think that it is when the law comes into the equation that love flies out of the window. The minute a proposal is offered couples are heading towards an institution that is imposed upon us by the state and it should never be entered into lightly. Throw in that nearly fifty per cent of marriages end in divorce it makes me wonder why people rush into it so happily. Maybe it should be the other way round and you should have to go to court in order to get married in the first place.

Imagine if we had to prove, in a court of law, that we loved someone and will do so ‘till death’ plays its part. Tam, what would you do if asked to show love as evidence in court? Would a judge accept a dog wagging its tail or would he say that the dog is simply performing a task in order to be fed and that conditioning had been used in order to win the case? We are programmed by culture and convention to aspire to what is expected of us so, on what precedent could the verdict be based on?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0054LNNIQ 

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